What I Need Today.

What I need today is a friend who lives nearby. Said friend is independantly wealthy so that she doesn't have to work (read, available to me at all times). She is also single (and blissfully happy about it) so that when I need her she doesn't have to abandon her own family. She loves that my house is messy and is not afraid of germs (because my daughter is sick today). It would be helpful too if she thinks I'm smart and funny. The conversations will just go so much better that way. It would also be great if she had the uncanny ability to realize when she is needed and when it is the perfect time to leave. Currently accepting applications. Position starts immediately - as in right this second. Seriously.