Feeling Better

I was fully expecting this morning when I woke up to get Gabe to school and head the rest of us off to MOPS that I’d discover one or more of us was too sick to go. It’s been around 6 weeks after all since I’ve last been able to have something akin to a normal schedule because of all the sickness going around the family. I was pleased that I didn’t feel worse, no symptoms to add to my fever from yesterday and I was too busy this morning to take my temp so if I was warmer than normal I ignored it.

It was great to get back to MOPS. I was nearly ready to throw in the towel as a table leader having missed two meetings in a row and if I missed a third… what good is a table leader that’s never there?

But we got there and it was fun, I loved seeing all “my” ladies and we watched a great Julie Barnhill video about managing anger. Not that moms ever have reason to lose their temper or anything. I confess it is a huge relief to hear someone speak who has actually had major issues with temper (this mom threw her two-year old across the room to her bed where she ended up hitting the wall) and who has come back from it and learned to do differently. Because of the way I was raised, by an angry, abusive mother who was always ready with hurtful words and hurtful hands, I have often struggled with how to handle certain stressful situations. There was a time in twenties were I very nearly made up my mind to NEVER have kids because I was so worried that I would follow her footsteps. (Oh, how I’m glad I didn’t commit to that decision.)

At times this has felt like an uphill battle and I have been far from perfect but watching the video (again) today gave me great encouragement. I felt further removed from the emotions that bring me to that brink of exploding than I ever have. Julie mentions in her video that she did not have children to fix them but so that she could become more like Jesus. Well, I don’t know how close I’ll get but I can say that I am more like Jesus now than when I had kids and I don’t think I would be, at least not in the same ways, than if I hadn’t had children.

I also think about how much Zion is like me. She IS me. Only she likes pink. When I was pregnant with her and thinking on names it was a song that brought me the name “Zion”. And then as the pregnancy progressed I felt as though I was hearing God say over and over that she was going to be my healing. The kind of healing that usually occurs only in heaven, in Zion, would be here for me on Earth through her. I have often wondered what kind of person I would have turned out to be had I not heard such awful untruths as my mother ingrained in my head about my self worth or what I would be like if I never had to worry about being struck or kicked. I get to see that, in a way, through her.

This is not at all what I’d planned to write about but I guess that’s what happens when I sit down and don’t really have a plan at all.

On a lighter note I had a tough time choosing My 365 today. I went with this:

Our precious pup beat the cats to the sunbeam on the living room floor today. He’s such a handsome guy.

But I could have gone with this:

Another handsome guy. Only this one likes to pretend to cook and wash dishes in the kitchen sink. And I let him because he will happily play there for a long, long time. And the floor gets “mopped” at the same time. At least a half circle in front of the sink does anyway. Yep, that one’s good for my soul, too. ALL my kiddos are, salve to my wounded soul.

Merry Last Christmas And More

This blog post isn't nearly as overdue as some of these projects were.

These slippers were my gift to my sister for LAST Christmas. I hope they were worth the wait.

Close up of the cute button (which I can take no credit for, she picked it out).

My attempt at drawing coffee cups on the bottoms. A cute detail (I hope anyway) but also the puffy paint makes them non-skid.

Another belated Christmas gift, a jewelry frame for Jamae. It is black lace over white satin to match her room colors. I even used her actual wall paint to repaint the frame.

Last year two of us gals in MOPS knitted bibs for moms who had babies (well, for the babies but you know what I mean). We ran out of girl bibs though and one mom had twin girls at the end of the year. She also moved to an area that has more extreme temperatures than here so I offered to knit hats instead.

Two summers ago we went to a local art festival where a couple of women were demonstrating spinning and selling some of their yarn. I picked up this soft, chunky yarn which has been sitting in a basket waiting for me to be inspired by a pattern. Found one! Now it's a cowl to keep my neck warm during this winter which is predicted to be very, very cold.

Speaking of warm necks, I knit this one for my cousin, Noah who got married last weekend. He and his bride, Crystal, have a little farm with a bunch of critters so they'll need to keep warm this winter, too. This one is his.

This one is hers.

I picked natural wooden buttons to go with the vine pattern.

And this is what I'm working on now. It doesn't look like much now but it will be a bunny for Elias. I'm getting a lot of practice at picking up stitches which is where you create live stitches off of an existing piece of knitting. The whole project is knit my picking up stitches and knitting the bunny parts one at a time and stuffing it as you go. I can't wait to finish this one!

Catching Up

Once again I am terribly behind on pretty much everything. Laundry, cleaning, Christmas stuff, blogging. Well, I've got a load in the washer, a load in the dryer, everything else is sorted and ready. The dishwasher is just finishing a load and, thanks to a kind volunteer babysitter from my church, I got some Christmas shopping done today (now comes the wrapping). So I'm going to try to catch you all up on the latest goings on.

Last week I was getting mentally prepared to head up to my sister's for the weekend. A midweek weather report for freezing weather and possible snow put the halt on that since I knew I couldn't leave the dog in the yard all weekend. Too cold for poor Towz. Any other weekend I would have been content to just hang out at home but last weekend was my birthday weekend and sitting at home alone (yeah. "alone". just me and three kids under 4) just didn't feel right so I called my neighbor who agreed to let the dog in and out for me. Woohoo! Thanks Jennifer and Keith! So Friday after the kids' swim classes and my water aerobics class we headed up to my sister's.
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Saturday the 13th AKA my birthday

My wonderful nieces and their friend Paisley give me their gift which was to watch the kids so my sister and I can go out. Yeehaw! I felt like a new colt fresh out of the barn on a sunny day. Or whatever visual helps you understand that it felt really great to get to go shopping and out to lunch and I didn't have to buckle anyone else's seatbelt, change a diaper, dry a tear, feed someone else or hear three demanding but loving voices crying "mama" every few minutes. Jamie and I went to a craft store and the mall and a little restaurant that I'd never been to called PF Chang's. Talk about yummy! Really, really yummy! I think we were out for about 5 hours. That is the longest that I've been away from Gideon since he was still in my belly. He is doing much better now that he'll eat some solids. The little stinker still won't take a bottle and he eats frequently so up until recently even two hours apart took some planning.

Bob makes an amazing dinner we've fondly come to call That Sausage Thing. I know. Makes you want to beg the recipe doesn't it? Well if you tasted it you would. It's SO good!

Later that night it snows. While I was in her family room Jamie took Zion out in the yard and showed her how to throw a snowball. When they came in Zion was in rare form talking madly and gesticulating wildly and telling such a story eyes like saucers and with a huge smile. I had to ask my sister what she was talking about, Zion was so excited that I couldn't understand what she was saying. I followed them back outside to see a demonstration of Zion throwing a snowball armed with Jamie's camera. I got some good shots of the kids playing in the snow but I'll have to wait to post them until I get them from my sis.
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Sunday the 14th AKA my mom's birthday

Today I'm supposed to drive home. I spend most of the morning hemming and hawing over whether or not this will actually occur. Ultimately I decide that it's safest to wait a day to give the roads more time to dry out. The hills by both my sister's house and my house are notoriously bad when it's icy and it's just not worth the risk. On the flip side it gives us a chance to walk down to say "happy birthday!" and bring birthday cake to my mom.

Later I am reminded via e-mail that I've signed up to make a loaf of bread for the nursery workers at my MOPS group. I'm also reminded that it's my table's turn to bring food for the brunch which also reminds me that I was going to make a special treat for the ladies at my table which reminds me that Monday night is my Bible study's potluck and I'm supposed to bring a dish. After a few moments of mental panic because I know there's no way I can get all that done on time I call the Bible study leader to let her know that since I won't be getting back until Monday I'm going to skip our potluck. I then make plans to use my trusty breadmachine to make the bread instead of from scratch, will pick up something store bought for the brunch and will make Turtle candies instead of truffles for my ladies (less time consuming). With that I'm able to enjoy been "snowed in" at Jamie's for another day.

Jamie and the family had a commitment they must fulfill so they head out for a couple of hours. During that time I develop a "lovely" sore throat and by the time they come back feel pretty crappy. Great.
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Monday the 15th and nobody's birthday that I know

I wake and my throat is so puffy and sore that I can barely swallow or talk, my sinuses are gooky and I feel generally yucky. *sigh* Still, by the time we leave at lunch time it feels like the worst is over and I feel good enough to hit Walmart on the way home. Ah, home. I can't wait to get back and crank out the goodies I need to make and relax a bit. As soon as I walked in the door I knew it was not going to be so. Without going into too many details I'll just tell you that I spent half the night cleaning up after what I'll call The Infamous Litterbox Incident of 2008 (which comes in a close second to The Infamous Litterbox Incident of 2007, story for another time). Apparently my wonderful neighbors thought to check the box on Sunday but were unaware that if you put too much litter in my cats' self-cleaning litterbox the rake won't dock and it will just keep running back and forth, back and forth through the litter.

Cats can't use a litterbox where the rake won't stop moving.


That was Sunday afternoon.


I got home Monday afternoon.


The cats have no access to the out of doors.


You get the picture.


Well, it wasn't the evening that I'd hoped for with a lot more cleaning then I had planned and I was up past midnight but at least everything got made that needed to get made and I even got a shower and a load of laundry done.
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Tuesday the 16th - today (for another 18 minutes)

My alarm goes off at 7:30 so I can get us all up and out the door for MOPS. I don't know why I bother setting an alarm since Gideon is always awake by then but anyway. I succeed in getting us all dressed and in the car by 8:35. I'm backing the car out of the garage and as I'm slowly and carefully making my way past the Mustang and then Rob's truck I see that overnight some wonderful person egged the truck. What the heck?! In July some wonderful (probably the same) person paintballed the truck and it splattered the Mustang. It cost a shameful amount of money to have the Mustang detailed and the truck was only partially done (mostly because it hit the window and getting paint of glass is easier than getting paint off paint) and now there's frozen egg all over the darn thing (but not the Mustang that I can tell). Arg! I've already been feeling completely overwhelmed lately with my to-do list and I really didn't need to add to it. I would love to find the person who did it so I can make THEM wash the egg off!

So I do what I do when faced with disappointment. I call my sis. So, I'm on the way to MOPS still (and yes, I'm driving and talking on my cell legally using my Bluetooth) and I unload my frustration and hurt at being targeted by vandals for the second time and when I'm done she lets me know that our mom is in the hospital. Apparently a fall she had a week or so ago that broke her shoulder caused some internal bleeding at the break so she needed some blood and fluids for dehydration but she should be released in a day or so. Good news.

My MOPS meeting goes well. Turns out I hadn't forgotten anything at home. Cause for celebration! On the way home I pick up the girl from my church who has volunteered to babysit so that I can go Christmas shopping. After settling her and the kids in I head out for a little retail therapy and to cross a couple of things off my evergrowing to-do list. After a bit I'm actually feeling better. A little (a lot) cat pee, frozen egg and bad mom news can't get me down after all. I got a lot done in a few hours and headed for home. The moment I open my car door back in my garage and I know something is wrong. There's an odd sound coming from the corner. I turn. I look. I find a waterfall in my garage. That's funny. I don't remember our house having that particular water feature when I left. Have I mentioned recently that we're having temperatures in the teens around here? If you haven't yet figured it out I'll just come right now and tell you that we had a pipe freeze and burst and now water is spraying everywhere both inside and out of our garage. Yes. I did cry. But thanks to the babysitter's dad who showed up to pick her up and a kind neighbor we got the water shut off, found the break, shut off a different valve, got the water to the house turned back on, swept the water out of the garage, moved the soaked boxes to a dry spot (will have to go through those later) and wrapped as much of the pipe as possible in an old blanket so more won't freeze and break.

The bad news, I had yet another frustrating and disappointing evening, we have a broken pipe, about half a dozen boxes and their contents got soaked or at least partially wet, and my to-do list is growing faster than bunnies can multiply.

The good news, there just happened to be a babysitter at the house to handle the kids while I dealt with the indoor rain, the Christmas gifts and recent Costco purchases that I had stashed in the garage just barely missed being soaked, the break was in a place that we could shut off so the house still has water, a guy in my Bible study is a plumber and he has already promised to come out on Saturday to fix the break, and God is still good. That last one is a big one.
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Drowning, floundering, overwhelmed, alone. All words that have described me lately. Oh yeah, and exhausted. I frequently don't talk about this sort of thing because I can't stand the thought that someone might pity me. So I may share these things in a lighthearted way but not in a true honest fashion that really lets people see the kind of place where I'm at. So I share with you that I'm not really in a good place right now. Not so you can pity me or feel bad for me because Rob's gone and I'm "doing this" alone but so you can pray for me. For us. And if you have promised to watch my kids or offered to help clean my house or whatever and maybe your life got busy too and you forgot, maybe to take a look at your calendar to see if there might be time for that in the next few weeks. Doesn't have to be before Christmas, I know we're all busy. But it is a relief for me mentally to know that I have a break coming or help and it is always good to know that we are being covered in prayer.

That said, you can specifically pray for Gideon and me in the next few days and nights. I've signed Gideon up for "Sleep Boot Camp" and it starts tonight. I've tried everything I can think of to get that kid to sleep more than 2-3 hours in a row at night and nothing has worked. He wakes. He wants to nurse. He will NOT accept anything but without a screaming fight that can last an hour or two or until I give in and nurse him. I am too bone tired to accept that challenge many nights so I often just nurse him and put him back down and repeat in a couple/few hours. When I have felt up to it, I've tried to soothe him through feedings in every way I can think and have every heard of anyone else trying. I've also tried to let him "cry it out". I've even left him in my room where his bed is and sleep in the guest room to try to get some sleep and none of it has worked to actually get him to sleep better.

Most if not all of you have probably already jumped to a conclusion as to why he's not sleeping and what I should do about it and you can stop that right now. This isn't my first rodeo people. Third child here. Been there and done that twice already and have really tried and tried and tried with this kid. So, tonight begins the Boot Camp. I've moved Gabe to the guest room for sleeping purposes and moved Gideon's crib to Gabe's room where he will be staying until he starts sleeping. After that I'm not sure what the arrangement will be but at least for now he's gonna have his own room. I'm not even sure what I hope to accomplish with this move except that, at the very least, I hope that his screaming tirades will be easier to sleep through. Wish me luck!

On that note, it's no longer Tuesday and I really need to get to bed. I feel better having caught you all up. Sorry that I had no pics to post. Soon. I promise.

MOPS Park Day

Yesterday we actually got to go to the second MOPS Park Day for my MOPS group. The first one was a bust due to rain so I was really excited upon getting up that morning when it only looked like rain was a small possibility and not a likelihood (oh, our lovely WA summer). I am also very, very grateful for the girl from my church who is so willing to tag along with me and attach herself to Zion so that I can actually go to the Park Days. If not for her I would be stuck at home with my way too adventurous little girl not to mention the boys. I simply don't have the energy or desire to chase her around whilst holding and possibly nursing Gideon all the while keeping one eye on Gabe while he plays. Anyway, thank God for her! And here's some pictures for your viewing enjoyment.
Gabe and Isaac take a moment in the grass.
Gabe wanted to feed the ducks but we had nothing to offer, besides there are signs all over that say not to feed the ducks and it annoys me to no end that people ignore them. It happens every time we are at this park - grr!
Lovely duck showing off.
Amanda, my "Mother's Helper" for the day with Zion on one of the docks. Zion absolutely loves ducks and loves "quacking" whenever she sees one.

Just Kid Stuff (But No Baby)

I got to go to my MOPS meeting today (i.e. I was not in labor). The gals at my table were so sweet and threw me a mini-baby shower complete with the cutest cake. Thanks so much Adeliz, Chris, Nancy, Erin, Jennifer, Paula, Andrea and Jennifer! You guys are awesome!

After the meeting I went to get Gabe from the 3/4 year old room and the teachers almost wouldn't let me have him back. ;) He was the last one there and playing Play-Do and making some pretty interesting things that fascinated them. Then one of the teachers was like "watch this" and went to Gabe and "hoo-hooed" a note and asked him to do it back which he did perfectly. She looked up beaming at me and said she was a music teacher (or something to that effect) and said it was very cool that he could do that, most kids his age can't repeat a note like that. It's very cool to have someone brag about your own child to you. It's usually the other way around (like I'm doing right now I guess). They were enjoying him so much I actually had to leave and go get Zion and come back to get him.

Zion has been adding words to her vocabulary faster than I can keep track of them. Lately it's been "down" and "loud" the most. She really, really, really likes "loud" but refuses to learn "quiet". I guess it wouldn't really be Zion if she was quiet anyway. She also gets "guck" (stuck) a lot and asks for her "gip gup" (milk cup) which is sometimes also called a "bup". Lately I've noticed that if she gets an owie she tries to console herself and cries "baby, baby, baby" over again in a similar way to how I say "oh, poor baby" when I'm trying to make her feel better.

Tonight it was my project to go through Gabe and Zion's "too small" bins and pull out all the newborn and 0-3 clothes. From p.j.s to outfits to teeny shoes - oh the memories! Rob and I had to laugh though when we pulled out the tiny little New England Patriots shoes that someone had given us when Gabe was born and we lived in Rhode Island. Anyone want these shoes? Even if this little one is a boy it is unlikely that the shoes will see use from us anymore. Nothing against the Pats, of course.

A Traditional St. Patty's Day Dinner

St. Patty's Day A traditional St. Patrick's Day dinner includes beef flautas, refried beans and sopitos right? Well, it does if you're in our family. It's our tradition and though it might be a bit odd I'm sure it will catch on like wildfire across the States. We started it by accident one year when we lived in McCleary. Well, technically we were "living" in Aberdeen because Rob's employer had just moved us and we were still in a hotel there while we house hunted. Very near the hotel was a Mazatlan restaurant and for some reason we decided to eat there that St. Patty's Day. We did it again the next year and twice in a row makes a tradition right? Last year we actually made a true traditional Irish meal complete with corned beef and cabbage, soda bread and champ (mashed spuds with green onions and other yummy stuff) and that was decent, everything turned out alright, especially the champ - yum! But this year I asked Rob "are we doing Mexican?" and he said "that's what I've been thinking" and we both laughed so I have a feeling that our accidental tradition is going to stick. We also decided that come Cinco de Mayo we'll go out for Chinese.

Me I have been planning and running around like mad for a couple of weeks now because today was a very special day for my MOPS group. It was our Tea and Treasures meeting and that means that the table leaders, which I am one of, got to dress up all the tables, plan a special gift for our gals, and some of us got to give our testimony. I was one blessed to speak so all my planning included writing my testimony as well. It wasn't my first time but that sure can put your heart through the wringer and it can be such a blessing. It's hard to decide what to include and what to leave out when you only have about ten minutes to speak. I trusted God to give me the right words and I know that I affected at least one person because one of the moms from another table approached me afterward in tears and asked for help in receiving healing in one of the areas of my life that I spoke about. If she was the only one who received something for her life from my testimony out of everyone there then it was worth it and praise God for giving me the right words! After getting home from the meeting it felt so strange to come home and just sit with the kids and have a leisurely lunch instead of writing, making my gifts, running errands and all that.

Gabe Unfortunately I have to report that we have sickness back in the house. The last few days Rob has been coughing and Gabe's rough cough has returned and tonight he, Gabe, has a fever again. At dinner he just sat there and when I asked if he just wanted to go to bed he started to cry and said yes, he didn't feel good. Poor little guy, it broke my heart. When is this ever going to end!?!

Rob It has been fabulous to have Rob home again!!! The kids have really enjoyed it as well but I can't say enough about how nice it is to have his presence and his help around the house. Tonight we had an appointment after Rob got home and on the way there Gabe suddenly spouted "wow, Daddy went to work this morning AND he came home today!" I guess that sums up how strange it is that Rob has been home with us for more than a day or two. He has one more, short trip planned for next week and that will be the last before my due date (which is April 21 if you need a reminder - or didn't know yet).

Zion I guess since I went off on the rest of us it would be unfair to leave out Lil' Miss Zion. What new can I say about my crazy girl? While I was out last week shopping for supplies for my MOPS gift she fell in love with a stuffed tiger. I broke down and got it for her. I couldn't help it, she was sitting in the shopping cart rocking it, stroking it, kissing it. Turns out she didn't put the tiger down for the next three days. She loves her stuffies but this was a new turn even for her. I could hardly wrench it out of her hands to get her strapped into her carseat and she kept it in her chubby little hands no matter what we did. Even now, more than a week later she still wants to carry it around much of the time. I'm totally breaking my own rule about this. We've always been strict that the most special blankies and lovies stay in the kids' bed with a few exceptions of coming out of their room but never leave the house that way we don't have to risk losing them. I'm must be getting soft.