Thank God we only have to get through one day at a time.
This morning I went to the walk-in clinic while a friend watched the kids. The doctor thinks I do have some sort of infection not just bronchitis and a lot of inflammation. So I've got two inhalers and some antibiotics to help get rid of this cough and wheeze and maybe my voice will even come back. Wouldn't that be nice? (Don't answer that unless you are agreeing!)
I came home to get the kids lunch before taking Gideon to his one-year check and follow-up visit. Wowza! My baby boy gained a little more than a pound since his last visit and tipped the scales at 19lb 6oz. Yippee! So he is doing great off of dairy. Except he started having eczema and diarrhea which is kind of ironic considering that at the hospital the doctors were reluctant to test him for dairy allergies because he did NOT have these symptoms. Now he's off dairy and he GOT these symptoms. Now his regular pediatrician thinks that it's the soy. So now he's off soy AND dairy and I have to go find some rice, almond or goat milk all while keeping my fingers crossed that he doesn't develop issues with these things too.
Fast forward to after nap and after fixing my gas fireplace thanks to a friend who walks me through the steps over the phone and after forgetting to put the fireplace screen back and after putting Gideon on the floor to play and after me sitting down with Zion and then just to the point where I hear Gideon squeal in pain. Yeah, go to that point in time. That split second where I know exactly how I failed to keep my baby safe and a few minutes before I pile us all in the car to go to urgent care bawling almost the entire way there. Not just because Gideon won't stop crying or because I'm sick or tired or frustrated or mourning or because I feel incapable of taking care of my home and children or even that prayer maybe, just maybe, doesn't work after all because all I pray for anymore is our health and safety and yet we spend almost all of our time sick or injured but I guess because of all of those things at once.
Or maybe it's just because Gideon's doctor told me that I should cut out dairy too and I really love milk and since I don't have any cookie dough in the house I was really craving some ice cream with peanut butter and chocolate syrup. Yep. It's probably that. See - my sense of humor is returning all ready. Now off for one last - hurrah. I can drop ice cream starting tomorrow!