I sat down with the kids over the weekend and we looked at Towzer’s puppy pictures and laughed about the funny things he would do.
Monday night we brought him home from the vet where he’d been staying since the incident with Blue. I didn’t want him around our other pets or our petsitters after that. But we wanted the kids to have a chance to say goodbye and to get some last photos. The only one I didn’t photograph with Towzer was Elias, who is so young he wouldn’t remember and is also so young and small that we didn’t want to risk him around Towz. Mostly because he’s so active and moves so erratically and we don’t know what triggered Towzer to attack our kitten. Perhaps it was the same thing? Who knows.
Towzer seemed different. I think I was able to see him through fresh eyes and realize, yeah, he’s in pain and it’s obvious and the time is right for him even if just for that reason. He had always been the most diligent of guard dogs, never relaxing for even a second lest his family come under an attack (from what, I don’t know). He deserves his rest.
After the kids, Rob and I had a chance to say goodbye Rob and I drove Towz back to the vet while the kids stayed with a sitter. And now’s he’s at peace. And so are we. Sad, but the house is more peaceful without his intensity and hyper-vigilant guarding of his family. I do still feel badly that Blue paid for our delaying the inevitable with Towz and try to remind myself to be grateful it was not one of the kids. Part of me thinks I should have known and part of me thinks there’s no way I could have known that Towz was capable of something so awful. I don’t know the answer. All we can do is move on and when I feel overwhelmed (often) I pray to The Comforter for peace beyond understanding.
And ultimately, Towzer WAS a good dog. A good dog whose pain got to be too much and he just didn’t want his family to know. We will remember him for the innumerable good things and not the one bad. Moving on…