The ride

Life is such a roller coaster ride, sometimes up and sometimes down and sometimes up and down and up and down and up and down all at the same time.  It can be overwhelming.  A bit of our ride lately:

- last week the family got to go away on vacation, that should be so very fun and relaxing!

- a couple of days into it we got a call from the house sitter that our big dog had attacked one of our kittens.  Spent half the day back and forth with the vet on the phone.  It was bad.  On top of visible injuries it turned out the poor thing had a broken neck.  I felt terribly guilty for not preventing this as Towzer had been getting a bit grumpy lately due to his arthritis.  Now, however many days later, I still flip flop between guilt for not preventing it and giving myself grace because how could I have really known?  I don’t know but needless to say it really put a damper on our vacation.  Before we left we prayed for God to protect our critters like we always do and I’m not sure why the answer to this prayer was “No.” except that perhaps now we can prevent injury to one of the kids.  If Towzer, who has always been sweet and playful with cats, can do something so sudden and violent with one I doubt he would show restraint with the kids either.  Thank God our kids are safe.

- this is the third vacation out of the last four where one of our kitties has died unexpectedly.  It’s hard not to feel a bit attacked and vulnerable.

- considering what happened to the kitty we definitely cannot trust Towzer any longer and after consulting a behavior specialist (who we had actually had an appointment with on Sept. 5) we have decided to put him down on Monday.

- also right at the start of our vacation we found out we got an offer on the other house.  Should be good news and it is except that meant we were receiving calls and e-mails from our agent and her assistant for days and having to make big decisions and do paperwork. 

- right before vacation Rob got a new job offer.  The official, in writing offer came in at the beginning of the week while we were gone.  We had until Friday to decide whether to take it.

Rob and I have agreed that, while we still managed to DO a lot of fun things with the kids (who are holding up surprisingly well regarding the cat and dog) mentally and emotionally we were put through the ringer.  We need a do-over.

In just a few days’ time we had to decide to euthanize two of our pets, to accept or decline an offer for our house that was considerably lower than the listing price and to accept or decline a new job.  And weren’t we supposed to be vacating our every day lives?

My heart is so bruised and battered right now.  For the kids losing their pets, for me losing my pets, for the pets losing their best friends (which I know sounds so silly to some but Blue was one of a brother/sister pair that we had adopted and the two were inseparable and Towzer was Rosie’s best friend too).

We did decide to accept the offer on the house even and Rob did decide to accept the job.

I tried to focus on the positive all week while secretly I was practically sick with dread over having to come home.  Every day I prayed for God to give us peace and it was very tangible when we came home today to two less pets than when we left.  We still need to get through Monday (Towzer has been boarding at the vet since the incident happened, I didn’t want the house sitter to be at risk either) but I have hope for continuing peace and that is so big if you have ever experienced that, you know.

And can I also say that I’m so emotionally conflicted, like every year, that school is starting soon.  Summer was so fleeting and I LOVE having my kiddos home with no schedule, nothing pressing but a few chores and a lot of fun.  But we moved this summer and we STILL aren’t fully unpacked so there was less fun than I wanted.  Did I mention that I LOVE having my kids home?!  I’m so not one of those moms who counts the hours and minutes from the end of one school year to the start of the next.  If I wasn’t so distractible and a lousy planner and a total procrastinator I’d home school.  LOL

I’ve got one going full time, one going full days half the school week and one going for half days a few days a week.  There will actually be hours of the day where I only have one kid.  *sniff*

I will not look forward, I will not look back, I will look UP.

We Moved

It’s as simple as that.  In a whirlwind things seem to happen at record speed toward the end and we are in our new house.  We are surrounded by piles of boxes but it already feels like home.  And in the last couple of weeks I have had many firsts, I have collected eggs from my very own chickens (the sellers left 4 hens and a rooster so even though the chicks we bought aren’t laying yet we do have eggs), I used a weed whacker and drove a riding lawnmower.

It’s also been gross and rainy and I recognized right away that I also needed my very first pair of barn and garden boots.  Don’t ask me how I managed to grow up in Washington without ever having a pair of rubber boots but I did. I did find some cute one for my first pair:

The kids are absolutely in heaven.  4+ acres on which to run around.  The first morning we woke up in the house Zion, Gabe and I walked out to see if there were any eggs left for us yet, as we opened the gate on the run Zion says “Can you *believe* we live here?!”  Nope, sweetie, I almost can’t.  It is certainly a dream come true for me.

So now you know that if you aren’t seeing blog posts from me that I’m still unpacking.  And collecting eggs.  And cleaning the chicken coop.  And mowing the lawn (what do you call it when it’s FOUR acres?)  And taking pictures of my chickens eating spaghetti.

I wanted to name the rooster Elvis but I got outvoted when Gabe suggested “Brewster”.  Pft.  Whatev.  OK, I admit, it’s a really cute name for a rooster.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

So here’s the thing.  We’ve had a lot going on lately.  Lots of changes.  The biggest one being that we’ll be moving soon. This house was never one that we wanted to stay in, we were rather stuck here though. We bought right at the peak of the market because Rob’s employer transferred us here.  We left a small property where we had goats, who we had to find homes for, and lots of dreams of chickens and horses and gardens.

Then right after we bought the market crashed.  Over the next few years the value of our home dropped tens of thousands annually.  *weep*

But then we hit this miraculous balance of having our loan paid off, an inheritance from my father-in-law and a property I’ve been drooling over since we moved here six years ago suddenly having a for sale in front.

I KNOW in my mind that it’s not ours yet and during the sale of a home many things can happen to make the deal fall through but I feel so peaceful about the whole thing that I can only think that God had this planned all along.

I feel secure enough that everything is going to work out that Rob and I went out and bought half a dozen chicks on Friday.  LOL  The new house has a few acres and already has a chicken coop.  I just couldn’t help myself.  They will be nearly old enough to live outdoors about the time we move. 

I have been reading up like made about chickens, gardens and homesteading in general.  Based on availability and my research on personality we chose to buy two Black Austrolorps and two Ameraucanas.  I wanted two Silky Bantams as well but the feed store only had “Assorted” Bantams with no guarantee of breed.  They were also straight run (meaning their gender is unknown).  I was caught up in the moment and thought “Why not?” so we got two of those as well.  Later, at bedtime we prayed that off all our chicks that if any turned out to be a rooster there would be only one.  LOL

On Friday of this week I’m heading off to another location to pick up, hopefully, a pair of Buff Orpingtons and Delawares.  In a few months we’ll have eggs abundant on our little farm.

All that talk, and what a change of topics from the blog previously, and no pics.  What?  That’s simply unaccapteble.  So here you go.  Pics of the chicks from today.

The girls (hoping anyway) are:

Top row left to right: Music and Fluffster (can you tell the kids helped name them)

Middle row left to right: Lucille and Louise

Bottom row left to right: Rio and Sophia

Real quick before I sign off, sorry for the dead air for a while.  I bought a new laptop and had a dickens of a time get my blog writer to work on it.  Now it does and with all the fun changes coming up I hope to be on a lot more letting you all know how things are going.

Bill

Rob’s flight left at 6AM this morning.  At about 10AM I got the call that Bill had passed.  Rob called from a layover and we chatted, he’s doing OK.  Actually feeling the stress of feeling rushed lifted.  So we’re OK.  As OK as we can be.  Bill was wonderful to me from the moment we met, treated me like a daughter, always remembered my birthday, he never failed to call AND send a card.  As happens with these sorts of events it does not seem real, I feel as though I could call tomorrow and chat with him.

Well, you know what to do, pray for us.  Thanks!

Bill and Gabe goof off, January 6, 2012.

Sorry

About the disappearing act that is.  First the holidays, which were great.  We had an awesome Christmas.  But January was a wash.  At the beginning we learned that my father-in-law, who had recently been diagnosed with cancer, was not doing well so we planned a short notice trip to Michigan.  Rob, Gabe and I fly out while the other three stayed with my sister, Jamie. 

We had a great visit in Michigan.  Bill perked up a bit with us there though it was clear that the cancer was marching on.  Then the state of Washington got blasted with snow and ice.  Like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Ever.  We lost electricity in addition to many limbs from all of our trees (major sadness).  We were out for three days others were out for a week or more.  We did fine at home though.  It was cold but we have a gas hot water heater so we had hot water and a gas stove so we could cook hot food.

Then just as I thought things would settle and normalize (ha!) we got the call just hours ago that Bill may not make it through the night.  Rob already had a ticket to fly out tomorrow night but he’s found an earlier flight out in the morning.  We’re hoping Bill holds on until he can get there.

On a happier note, this morning before we knew that Bill’s health had deteriorated so drastically, I had a mini-photo shoot with my boy Gideon.  He is so, so funny and enjoyed giving me some faces for the camera.  His only fee?  Getting to see the back of the camera.  He reacts like he won the lottery every time “LOOK!  There I am!”

That is all.

Hair Cut Day

I don’t know about you but our family is getting geared up for school to begin.  I know so many others have already started and that thought always astounds me.  It’s still summer for cryin’ out loud!  (Even if we don’t exactly have summer weather many days, it’s been a very weird summer here as far as weather goes.)

Gabe starts 2nd grade next week and Zion starts PreK the week after that (which is more like what I experienced growing up, we never started school until a few days after Labor Day).  I still haven’t shopped for clothes or supplies.  *yikes*

But today at least I got the pre-first-day hair cuts done (which I’ve been telling myself to do every day for more than a week now).  Zion and I will go for a hair cut together on Saturday after Rob gets back in town from work travel (blech, darn work travel) and Elias doesn’t need a hair cut so that really left only Gideon and Gabe.  Oh how I wish the boys didn’t have such fine hair.  It shows every mistake, every imperfection in a hair cut – and when I do it it’s guaranteed to be imperfect.  Still, they pass and they’re free so whatcha gonna do, eh?

Here’s Gideon’s before":

Of course I didn’t realize until after I’d taken the pictures and started cutting that his face still needed washing after lunch.  He insists on doing it himself and I sometimes forget to double check after he’s done it.  Silly mama.

Here’s Gideon’s after:

After I took the photos I went and cleaned up the back a bit more, didn’t mean to make such a severe line there.  And for the second time in my haircutting history I knicked an ear.  Gideon shouted “Ow, Mama, you hurt my ear!” in his adorable Gideon voice that cannot be described in words.  It went straight to my heart, I felt so bad.  Luckily it wasn’t too bad and I know the trick for getting things to stop bleeding (dab on flour, now you know the trick too) and now he’s fine and I feel better having confessed.  Phew, that is good for the soul!

Here’s Gabe’s before.  Which does not do this mess justice.  He looked like a Muppet.

And the after:

He’s not nearly as disgusted with me as he looks in the left one.  I just surprised him with taking one last photo when he thought I was done and as it turns out it was the best one of his hair.  Gabe’s cut is easy and I didn’t nick his ear.  What a relief!

On a different note, I have a new blog and store in the works.  I have a few knitting patterns now, a couple free ones and one that is nearly done that is good enough to charge for and I plan to get some photo items ready for sale and needed a place to do it all.  That’s a big project for me and since I’m a slow mover who knows when it will be actually up and running but I thought I’d share the exciting news anyway.  I’ll still blog here of course but I’ll have a link to my other blog and I’ll probably move a lot of my knit and photo talk there.  More on that later.

And with that I’ll leave you with a recent favorite.  Gideon yesterday.  I’m thinking about what lens I want to add to my equipment and a friend let me borrow her Nikkor 50mm f1.8.  What a nice lens!  And what about that LITTLE BOY!  This is one of those photos that shocks me into knowing how fast time flies by, he’s not a baby anymore. 

Bringing Home Baby

I got a new camera.  hee hee

I can’t wipe the smile off my face. 

SQUEEL!

Phew!  I’m so glad I got that out.  Getting a new camera has been on my mind for a while.  Not too long ago I started squirreling away little bits of cash, seriously sticking what I could in a Mason jar on my desk like I was twelve and dreaming about my first horse (hey, that’s not a bad idea for that Mason jar now) and thinking it was a looooooong way off. 

But then we had a bit of a windfall and Rob generously encouraged me to use a good portion of it on this:

And while you may not fully understand what you are seeing there (besides a box, a bag and the dashboard of our van) let me reassure you that it is about half a dozen steps up from my current camera.  At least.

I loved my camera (a Nikon D70s if you want to know) but felt like I’d outgrown it. There were some models in between the D70s and D7000 that I could have considered, and did, but the question on my mind was “How soon will I want to upgrade again?”  I think it’s going to be a while now.

I’ve only had it a few days and am entirely pleased.  Utterly.  Totally.  Are there any more words I can use?  Thrilled.  Yep, that too.

Just check this out:

And that was a mistake!  (To explain, I was taking a light reading off her face and discovered that the shutter button on new camera is far more sensitive than the old one – it sure doesn’t take much before… CLICK!) Then I discovered this when I had enlarged the photo on my laptop to see if I wanted to do any sharpening:

That’s me.  In her EYE!  My old camera might have gotten this much detail but never would have allowed me to crop and enlarge it enough to see it like this.  *happy sigh*

And I also love that Zion is getting little freckles on her face.  I just want to kiss them all the time.  *happy sigh*

So I’m really, really happy.  (And I’ve also been super tired lately which is why I haven’t been blogging much.  And with that I’m off to go to bed.)

 

Prayers

Rob leaves in the morning for almost three weeks.  He heads to Guam for his two-week annual training (made almost three weeks with the addition of travel) where he gets to go support the guys who support our submarines (and by our I mean the US not ours personally).  If you’re the prayin’ sort send some up for us.  It is always hard when he’s gone so long though I have to remind myself we did it for a year when he was deployed so this should seem easy, right?  I hope and pray that time flies and that we feel safe and emotionally and spiritually secure while he is away and that sleep will be abundant for all, it makes such a huge difference.  And so do your prayers.  I can feel them.  Thanks!

Sad News

We've returned early from a wonderful weekend getaway and I will return and write about that soon. For now, I'll take care of the sad part. Within minutes of leaving the restaurant where we celebrated Rob's birthday with a super yummy dinner my cell phone rang, it was our house sitter. She came to our house this evening and found my favorite cat, Ben, passed away. He was lying in between the food bowl and water bowl and almost looked like he was sleeping. I'm shocked and confused and so very sad and I feel terrible that this happened on Rob's birthday and that we had to break the kids' hearts by cutting our vacation short.

Ben was found by a police office in the middle of the Jamestown Bridge in Rhode Island. He was a tiny ball of gray fur, covered with fleas and filthy. He'd been abandoned there, we guess, most likely from someone who was trying to get rid of an unwanted kitten by tossing him over the bridge. He was blessed that he somehow managed to stay on the bridge.

When the office tried to catch him Ben panicked and ran. He was moments from dashing in front of a moving vehicle when the officer stepped in his path and scooped him up. He was blessed he didn't get crushed.

The officer brought him to the animal hospital where I worked where the doctor had to remove one of his hind legs because it was so damaged. But Ben survived and had such a great attitude.
He picked me. In one look I knew what he knew, he was going home with me. He's been my special boy since then. Such a funny character. Such a great heart. I named him Benedetto which means "wellblessed".
When he stretched up he was at least as tall as the top of the kitchen counter. Not that he would do any thing so naughty as to try to steal from the counter. He had great manners. He loved tuna but that was the only thing he ever begged for.

He was faster than our four-legged cats and could jump to the top of our six-foot fence without a problem.
Frequently when he wanted in he'd go to the front door and sit on the milk box and stare in the window until some one opened the door. With the exception of the aforementioned tuna, he never yowled to get what he wanted.

He was such a sweet boy. I just don't understand. This may seem so silly to write about but my heart is really breaking and I don't know what else to do. It was a year ago that we lost Spot unexpectedly as well. She has been on my mind a lot lately as well. Now this.
My last photo of Ben and not a very good one. I'd been thinking lately that I needed to get a photo of him sitting on the milk box looking in the window but I didn't. Now I feel worse than ever.

Who Knew?

That my kids would find it so darn exciting to go car shopping. Seriously enjoyed. Like they were at Disneyland.

We didn't want a new car. I loved my Freestyle . Really, really loved it. It was stylish and fast, lots of storage room, seated 7. It was paid off which made it even more attractive. Sadly, we had to come to grips with the fact that it was no longer going to suit our needs. Granted, we have a few more months before it was truly no longer going to work but once we realized it was going to be necessary to trade it in we just did it. *sniff* I now drive a *gulp* minivan. Still seats 7 but has the three-seat row in the back and captains chairs in the middle giving the kids and us easy access to those in the back who may need help with carseats (or who fall asleep and need to be carried in). The Freestyle had the three-seat row in the middle and you have to fold down part of the seat to gain access to the back. We had Gideon on one side of the middle row and Zion and Gabe in the back row. We could still fold down the seat and let the kids back.

So, why, you ask, if it was working did we have to get rid of it? Well. Why do you think? Come June (or maybe July) we'll need to add a fourth carseat. *grin*

As I said, the kids really enjoyed car shopping. Gabe fell head over heals for the first one we test drove, a Chrysler Town and Country. He cried when we told him we were going to keep looking but he got better each time. The kids jumped on every seat of each car we looked at, squealing in laughter. The Town and Country was beautiful and had tons of cool features. It is pretty much the same thing as a Dodge Caravan however and I really hate those. Won't go into why. We also checked out a GMC Acadia. Hello, Gorgeous! I was in love. Sadly, while the seat arrange for 7 was better that the Freestyle there is absolutely NO room for say, a stroller. Almost no room even for a diaper bag. Whilst at the GMC lot we also looked at the Yukon Denali. Bigger but the same problem. (How can these beasts be so BIG and have NO storage I wonder.) So I could have looked at bigger, those Suburbans are pretty handsome these days (and I just noticed coming home today a BRAND new shiny black one in my neighbor's driveway across the street). But Rob doesn't like to drive bigger and bigger just means more expensive, both initially and in gas. So no, not really interested.

After that we went home to nap the kids and I poked around on line (some more) and read about the Honda Odyssey. Aside from still having a hard time spelling it (um, double D single S or vice versa and, really, TWO Ys?) I learned it is the highest rated minivan out there.

Long story only slightly shortened at this point, we bought one and said Adios to the Freestyle (still holding back the tears). A 2006 which happened to come with a DVD player and navigation screen. Naturally the kids are thrilled with the DVD player. Funnily enough Gabe said he liked this one better because of the small storage compartment next to where his booster seat sits. Crazy what kids end up loving. So the T&C had a few nicer options but all around the Honda seemed a better quality vehicle and had some nice features itself.

Last night is when we brought it home. I told the car it was going to take me a while but right now I didn't love it. It's going to take me a while. I may never love it, in fact. But sometimes you gotta do for family and I did what I had to do.

So, now the cat's outta the bag. I knew I couldn't keep it a secret once friends started seeing me in my new ride. Anyone who knows me well knows how I feel about my cars and how I feel about minivans. The jig is up. And me? I'm exhausted, hungry most of the time and have been dealing with stomach aches but no real morning sickness. Only a little nausea and smell aversion. Counting down the weeks until June. :) Oh, and I apologize if you're family and finding out this way. We're trying to let the people closest to us know personally but, like I said, rumors were about to start flying and I couldn't deny any questions.

Phar Lap

Say what? You're probably thinking. What the heck is a Phar Lap? Well, Phar Lap is not a "what" but a "who" and if you know me at all then you have already realized that Phar Lap is some sort of animal. Way beyond just "some sort" of animal if you ask me. Phar Lap was one of the greatest racehorses that ever lived. Ever. Not just my opinion either. Lots of people think so. I'm not going to extol the virtues of Phar Lap in this post, I just had to mention an article that came out today about him. This is massively interesting to me since I'm a huge fan - and because Phar Lap died in 1932. How is he making the news today, 76 years later? Well, he died under mysterious circumstances at the age of 5 but recently scientists figured out what killed him. Fascinating, I know! And since I know you're on the edge of your seats now I'll fill you in. Back then the speculation was poisoning, as he was quite the threat on the racetrack, but it could not be proven. Now it has been. Tests on a few strands of his mane (his stuffed hide is on display in a museum in Melbourne Australia) show that he died of a massive arsenic poisoning. However, it is possible that it was accidental. I'm not convinced since it seems to me, based on what I've read, that it was rather an acute onset and I would expect him to be sick for a while if it was an accumulation effect from the arsenic in his ointments etc but it seems that whether it was intentional or accidental will remain a mystery.

There's a number of books about Phar Lap as well as a movie (which always makes me cry) and you can read about him here and here.