My Friend, An Update

My friend with the tumor is hanging in there. I haven't had a chance to see her in about a week and a half but I receive updates now and again. I guess she is starting to have a little trouble with her balance now and of course still has problems with her speech. I finally remembered this morning while I was in Zion's room to grab the poem that my friend wrote for her so that I could share it with you. Here it is:

What a wonderful little one you are

You're like a bright and shining star

Sent to us from Heaven above

A precious gift of God's own love

A tiny wondrous bundle

Of joy and great delight

To cuddle in the daytime

To hold closely in the night.

We are so glad that you have come

Into our home to stay

May we ever love and cherish you

Through each and every day.

And may the Lord be with you

Throughout all your lifelong days

As you open up your heart to Him

To be called a house of praise

May He ever lead and guide you

Hold you closely to His side

As you live and grow to love Him

And in His peace abide.

So that when you get to Heaven

He'll say Sweet One come in

For you have believed in His own Dear Son

and helped others to Him win.

by Lawanna Jean Eilers

What a Privilege!

I got to visit with my friend today. It was unexpected but it had been arranged that us ladies who are in the women's Bible study (which until last week was led by her) could come and visit her at home this morning. So we did our discussion in class and then took our song sheets over to her house for a time of worship. I count it a privilege to be included in this time of her life. She is completely surrounded by family (she has 7 children of her own and a couple dozen grandchildren) and friends who pop in and out all day and folks are bringing food for the family all day. It is amazing to see a family, loving friends and a church body working as it should. Coming around someone they love, pouring themselves out in caring and provision and just being there for them. Anyway, we got to worship with my friend and chat and laugh and hug and yes, tears were shed, and it was wonderful. Showing her true quality and beauty and humor my friend insisted on standing and hugging everyone who came and went. When someone wanted to know what song she wanted to next she once jokingly suggested "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain" which she promptly started belting out complete with hand motions. And every once in a while she would suddenly burst out about how much she knows that her husband is looking forward to seeing her, how she can picture him standing and cheering her on saying "Come on, hurry up!" and of course, how badly she wants to see him, her "Precious One".

The cancer has spread quickly. She now has it in other parts of her body and is experiencing some pain now and again, and she can't get her words out all of the time. I still hold onto a hope that she will get to meet my new baby but I've also come to a peace if it isn't to be so.

Yesterday I told Gabe about my friend's health. I sat him down and explained to him that "Ms. Wanna" as he calls her has a sick part in her mind, her brain and that the doctors can't fix it. She will need to go see Jesus who will fix her up like new but that means that she will go to Heaven and we won't get to see her for a while. Fortunately or unfortunately my son is familiar with this concept as we lost my young nephew at the age of five, Gabe was 2 and we all still talk about my nephew frequently. Gabe now understands that those in Heaven can't come visit (he asked about that a lot for a while) so he told me that we would just go to Heaven to see Ms. Wanna later. I told him we most definitely would go see her in Heaven later and that it was OK to be sad if we miss her now. He took it better than I expected though I know he can't fully comprehend it now, I'm not even sure I can yet.

My Friend

I received a call from our pastor's wife today that my friend's family is requesting a meal for tomorrow night and I had previously signed up to help. I will happily help. I got up the courage to ask the scary question of prognosis. Previously I had been told she might have a year with treatment but not how long she may have without. Well, there is no real answer for that I guess but she did inform me that according to my friend's family they are already noticing that she is failing fast. I wish with all my heart that she could hang on to meet my new little one and that this baby would cooperate and come faster than predicted. My friend wrote the most beautiful poem for Zion when she was born, she has been such an encouragement to me when I had a newborn (and every other time since I've met her) and I know that it won't be the same this time but I just want to show her the baby. Just to share our beautiful gift from God and rejoice with her for a second. I wish...

Looking on the bright side.

Here's the picture promised from the other day of Gabe and Zion playing in the sandbox. Apparently Zion thinks that once the dump truck is filled with sand it makes a better chair.
Gabe got to experience Fun Sticks the other day. You know those things that come with the white candy stick and a packet of powder that's essentially sugar. He got about three of them at his school's Valentine's Day party (much to my annoyance). All of his candy got put in his treat basket and he occasionally gets to pick one treat from it. I don't remember that stuff having this effect when I had it as a kid. I guess it's been "improved" since then. Whatever.
Here is Zion just hangin' with her Daddy - and playing MY Nintendo DS. Daddy was supposed to be playing with Gabe (we have two and they can be linked together for some games) but Zion nabbed it and wouldn't give it back. She loves to "play" and taps the screen with the stylus and jabbers away. We tried to trade her with Gabe's Leapster which also has a stylus but she would have none of it, she is not a kid who can be tricked and she only wants to do exactly what we are doing.

On another note, you may have noticed that the first song that plays when you pop on the blog has changed (or not, that's OK). I wanted to put the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir's song using the Psalm that goes "I will lift up my eyes to the hills from where cometh my help, my help cometh from the Lord..." in light of what my friend, Lawanna, is going through but Playlist didn't have it available. Bummer. But they did have another favorite of mine by Kirk Franklin and so I've added "My Life Is In Your Hands". I hope that you find it as uplifting as I do.

Prayer Request Update

This morning my women's Bible study met at our regular time despite our missing leader. At the closing we were informed that the news is not good. The treatment that is available to my dear friend might buy her a year according to her doctors. That being the case her and her family have come to the difficult decision to not treat. This is just simply difficult to acknowledge. The prognosis that is, not their decision which I also agree is best for them. My mind is stubbornly hanging on to her as I know her now and the fact that she is living and refusing to look forward, and thus face what is inevitable. Another part wants to argue that we have simply not had her long enough and there is so much that I want to learn from her still. She is just one of those wonderful people, warm and caring, wise and so willing to give, that you just want to be surrounded by them all the time. Yet, we trust God that He has her days numbered and that he is in control and has her best at heart. It doesn't feel like this is the best, something like this will never feel "best". I ask for continued prayer. That we will not limit God in what He can do in this situation or pray only selfishly but to pray for what is best for my friend, Lawanna.